*Koningsdag*, celebrating the birthday of the Dutch king Willem-Alexander, is the national holiday of the Netherlands. It involves so-called ‘free markets’: in parks, on squares and some streets, people can lay down a blanket and freely sell their old junk. Also lots of games, little girls being paid to play the violin terribly and other (attempts at) music. It’s also tradition that the king visits one city and tries to act like a normal person while being the center of attention of what’s possibly the most awkward birthday party on the planet.